Noor is going to be starting in a new preschool program soon, so you take advantage of the fact that a friend of yours is an early childhood development specialist. You ask her to evaluate noor, who is 2 1/2 years old. The specialist evaluates noor’s language, motor and cognitive skills using some developmental scales, and observes noor interacting with other children in a toddler play group. This is her report:
noor was somewhat hesitant in the group of children and spent a few minutes watching them before joining in. After a while she latched on to a couple of the other children and had a good time. By the end of the session they were smiling and imitating each other.
noor was generally not very aggressive with the other kids, but would sometimes say “Mine!” if there was a toy both children wanted. However, noor would usually smile and give up the toy a few moments later and seek out a different toy. The specialist said that noor was ready for preschool already in terms of aggressive behavior.
noor handled challenging tasks fairly well except for an occasional need for encouragement.
noor scored in the above average range on tests of language comprehension and production, and provided unusually complete and grammatically mature sentences in a conversation the examiner and she had about a picture. She recommended several appropriate activities that might interest noor such as going through a book without pictures and making up a story, or going to a children’s museum and talking about the things that interested noor there.
noor is about average in solving problems with more than two steps, and grouping objects together in categories. The specialist recommended that you help noor “talk through” the steps in solving problems, and that you expose noor to more hands-on learning activities (e.g., at the children’s science museum).
She is in the average range in copying shapes with a pencil, working with picture puzzles and constructing things out of blocks. The specialist recommended offering noor a range of these activities to choose from and to go with the ones that seemed of most interest to her.
noor’s gross motor skills were typical for her age, and varied from slightly below average (climbing) to slightly above average (throwing and catching a ball). The specialist recommended more outdoor activities and games of all types.
noor was able to focus on the tasks posed by the examiner, but her attention began to wander after about 20 minutes. The examiner said this was typical for the age, and took a short play break. She recommended that you involve noor in preparation for scripted activities such as bath and meal time to help enhance her ability to listen to and follow directions.
The preschool that you are considering for noor offers low-priced developmental assessments. noor is able to enroll when she becomes reasonably well potty-trained. She is 19 months old now. Just to find out how noor’s development compares to other children of her age at this point, you have an assessment done. The early childhood specialist observes noor in free play with other kids and does a little testing of cognitive skills. She reports the following:
After she got warmed up, noor seemed to get along very well with the other kids, and was unusually cooperative for a child of her age. The examiner thought that noor would adapt well to the preschool environment.
The specialist thought that noor was securely attached, but that the communication system between parent and child could be improved. She recommended that both parents try to read noor’s reactions more carefully and work on interpersonal communication.
noor was shy with the examiner, who thought she was nervous around new adults or just didn’t know what to do. She recommended that noor stay with one primary preschool or daycare provider during the day and get to know other new adults slowly.
The examiner observed noor become moody and irritable several times during the play session, when things did not go her way. The examiner recommended that you help noor regulate her moods gradually by not overreacting to mood changes, and by patiently waiting for him to calm down and communicate his desires.
noor scored above average in all aspects of language development, and is ready to be read aloud to more frequently, as she can follow typical story lines. The examiner also noted that her memory was pretty good and recommended that you frequently ask noor to recount experiences as a way of encouraging more language growth.
noor was age-appropriate on tasks such as building a block tower to model one made by the examiner and other spatial skills such as copying shapes, coloring within the lines and solving picture puzzles.
noor was about average for gross motor development. The examiner recommended that you give her plenty of opportunities to play on indoor and outdoor play gyms and to play games of catch and kickball with you.
The examiner commented that noor was able to concentrate on activities for 10-15 minutes, which was age-appropriate. noor was coming along fine, but she still recommended trying to engage noor’s attention in something really interesting for longer and longer periods of time, to gradually build up her tolerance for preschool-type activities. She also recommended getting noor to follow simple directions at home, gradually increasing the complexity and length of the directions.
12 months:
Virtual Child uses five dimensions of temperament to describe the child’s behavior in the first 30 months. These dimensions are random at birth, are influenced by your questionnaire responses, and change gradually over time in response to events and parenting decisions. The five dimensions are activity, sociability, emotionality, aggressiveness vs. cooperativeness, and self control. There is behavior genetic and longitudinal evidence for varying numbers of temperamental traits and the five traits used in the program are on a lot of lists. Studies also show that temperament changes in response to strong environmental pressures.
ACTIVITY refers to the physical and mental energy level of the child. Highly active children may sleep less, be more restless, and engage in more physical activity. Less active children may sleep more, enjoy quiet pastimes, and show less interest in vigorous physical activity.
SOCIABILITY refers to the child’s friendliness and desire for social interaction. Highly sociable children are sometimes given the label “extroverted” and less sociable children the label “introverted.”
EMOTIONALITY refers to the intensity of emotion experienced by the child. Highly emotional children may show more of everything (anger, joy, sadness) and more fluctuation in moods. Less emotional children may show less extreme emotions and less fluctuation over periods of time.
AGGRESSIVENESS VS. COOPERATIVENESS refers to the tendency of the child to be aggressive in social situations with the parent, day-care provider or other children. Highly aggressive children may be quite resistant to parental demands and throw tantrums or even lash out at the parent or other children. Less aggressive children tend to be more cooperative, or to whine and fuss rather than actively resist the parent. Research indicates that boys are somewhat more aggressive than girls, but there is a great deal of overlap between the sexes, and this is reflected in Virtual Child.
SELF CONTROL refers to the child’s ability to control his or her behavior, delay gratification, plan out a course of action, or inhibit responses to a typical situations. This is not exactly the same thing as aggressiveness or emotionality. For example, a child with low self control might take a cookie when asked to wait, not out of a spirit of lack of cooperation, but just due to low impulse control. Children who are extreme on this dimension may fit typical criteria for attention deficit disorder with hyperactivity. The Virtual Child has a 5% chance of having moderate to severe hyperactivity and a 5% chance of having mild hyperactivity.
GOODNESS OF FIT is a concept that is closely related to temperament. It refers to the tendency of the parent to adapt his/her behavior to the child’s temperament. For example, suppose you have a very active child, and you are trying to promote exploration and learning. Rather than “going against the grain” and attempting to quiet the child down to look at a book about bugs, you might appeal to the child’s active nature and choose to go on a walk and talk about the bugs you see. Goodness of fit also applies to developmental level. For example, at 6-8 months most infants are at least somewhat anxious around strangers, so you would want to introduce the child to a new person gradually rather than thrusting the child into the person’s arms. Parents desiring to change their child’s temperament, or help their child develop a particular skill, can benefit from the principle of goodness of fit, and the related concept of moderate novelty. Parents desiring to encourage growth in their child should introduce moderately novel activities and experiences, because children are more likely to pay attention to and profit from such experiences.
Welcome to the adult portion of MyVirtualLife! It’s time to make some big decisions about things like college, dating, career-building, relationships, and even what kind of family life you would like to have. In this part of the program, you will experience a sampling of many possible events and situations that adults can encounter in different stages of their lives, including Emerging Adulthood, and Young, Middle and Later Adulthood. The goals of the program are for you to experience events and decisions within the physical, cognitive and social-emotional realms of development, and to see how choices you make can influence certain aspects of later development.
Before beginning, however, we thought you’d like to know a little bit about what’s happening in your virtual life RIGHT NOW.
You begin as a senior in high school, one of the older students in your cohort (thanks to your late-in-the-year birthday). You are 18 years old and the world is in front of you! You’re living at home with both of your parents, your sister, Gwen (four years younger than you), your brother, Jack (two years older than you), and the beloved family dog, Sam. Your closest friend and partner in crime is Alex, whom you met at the beginning of grade school.
How the rest of your life plays out is partly up to you!
In many ways your life will seem typical for a person following normative paths of development; in other ways, depending on some of your choices, you will find some surprises. We hope you have meaningful and positive experiences as you create your adulthood story and live MyVirtualLife.
You are the proud owner of two diplomas: one from high school and one from college. During college, you spent time thinking about the skills you wanted to acquire and which area of study is the most interesting to you.
For a while you struggled with whether to follow your parents’ suggestion for a major or to take your own lead, and ultimately you took your own lead and decided on Social Sciences or Counseling work in Psychology.
(EDUCATION and CAREER continued)
Immediately after graduating from college:
You set out to find full-time employment in your field. Finding no success, you switched directions and decided take graduate classes to deepen your skills and prepare for success. You take advantage of the cost-saving opportunity of living with your parents and pursue a Master’s degree in a good part-time program at a near-by university. This is a wise decision, not only for financial reasons, but because you will learn more skills and knowledge in graduate school that will be useful to your later employment success.
At the end of Emerging Adulthood you are living at home, working full-time (in a job that covers your bills), and taking graduate classes. You are right where you should be – at the point in your life where you are working towards finding the right place to eventually build a lifelong career.
LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS:
You’ve had some ups and downs in your relationships with family, friends, and love interests. You had some dating experiences in college, and though you even had to work through a hard break-up, you learned some things about the effort that it takes to maintain a romantic relationship. As you reflect on this experience, you’ll no doubt learn to take a more serious look at the kind of lifelong relationships you might pursue going forward.
Your friend Alex had some tough personal issues to deal with as a result of family situations at home, but you have managed to keep connected, despite major transitions you’ve both experienced and the new friends you have met. Indeed, you have grown close to a significant set of friends from college, such as Sarah, and you hope that these friendships remain secure as you continue through adulthood.
HEALTH AND WELL BEING:
The age of emerging adulthood can be a peak time in your life – that is, if you pay attention to your body and your mind. You are now understanding how important balance is to your health, particularly after experiencing the demands that come from school work, socializing, and the intense feelings that come with a tough break up. You can use some of these experiences as lessons for coping, and will hopefully carry that wisdom ahead with you in life.
As part of your health maintenance you talked with your doctor who told you you aren’t in top shape, but if you watch your routines and eating habits carefully, you can ward off the negative effects that stress and unhealthy lifestyle choices can have on your mind and body.
FINANCIAL PLANNING:
You’re just starting out with a degree that will qualify you for career work, and you are hopeful that you can find a fulfilling job that pays the bills and leads to a comfortable lifestyle.
Initially after graduating college you strived to take on a job right away. However your intended plan never came to fruition and in the end you decide to take advantage of the cost-saving opportunity of living with your parents and pursue a Master’s degree in a good part-time program at a near-by university. This is a wise decision, not only for personal finance reasons, but because in the end you also started learning more skills and knowledge that will be useful to your later employment success.
Once more, let’s pause for a moment to review some of the things that have occurred, this time in your Middle Adulthood years.
EDUCATION AND CAREER:
Like many of your peers, middle age has been the time of greatest productivity, success, and earning power for you.
You spent a lot of time with your coworkers, both on and off the job, and these are the people you see most regularly.
Your job satisfaction waxed and waned during this time, and at one point you even considered leaving your job. In the end, you landed a new job in a different place and ultimately received a promotion with more responsibility but less taxing duties.
LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS:
During the last 15 years, your family experienced several losses. Your mom suffered long-term effects related to diabetes and passed away while you were in your 40s; your father developed cardiac dysfunctioning, and 10 years later he suddenly passed away in the night when his heart stopped. While your dad was ill, you took him into your home to care for him, but it seemed many members of your family needed support. During this time, you took in your brother Jack, too. He was the longest to stay, and was the most stressful guest in your home. Jack moved out eventually and by the time he did, your relationship with your brother was much stronger because of the ways you two worked things out together.
You began to experience a number of difficulties in your marriage, but instead of divorcing, you worked through your differences and reconnected on a deeper level than ever before. This brought you to a new place of fulfillment in your lives, and you refocused your energies on communicating and growing together as a family and a partnership.
Your friendships with Alex and Sarah were a big part of your middle adult years, but your children were perhaps the most significant aspect of your life at this time. Both of your children grew up and moved on to make their own ways in the world, and you are proud of the things they have accomplished. Hannah has graduated from school, gotten married, and has had a child, Lucy, your first grandbaby! After the birth of her daughter Hannah moved closer to you. Her brother, Will, has also gone to college, attending a top-ranked program for Engineering. He is in hot pursuit of his dream career. Your kids are leading extraordinary lives.
HEALTH AND WELL BEING:
A prevailing theme during middle age is health. Before your father passed away, he urged you to check your health regularly to be sure you are on a course of well being. Your brother, experienced a cancer scare towards the later part of this stage of adulthood, but it is easily resolved with a simple surgical procedure. He nonetheless insists that you keep up on your medical health. Luckily for you, you have not experienced any of the ailments with which your family members have had to contend.
Physically, you have kept up a moderate level of activity, in part because it helps you keep somewhat in shape, and in part because it is a good source of diversion. Exercise has also helped you to mentally feel good about yourself and your state of mind. You have a busy life and are engaged in events and other activities that keep you on the go.
Back to your physical body and state of your health, it doesn’t hurt to pay closer attention to your nutrition and exercise so that you can maintain a steady course into positive aging experiences. You seem to be doing ok, but you could always do more to ensure you are as fit as you can be.
Given your responses to stressors and issues that tax your anxieties and time, your emotional reactivity to negative events has at times put you at risk for experiencing the mythological midlife crisis of adulthood. So far you haven’t had one of the classic “breakdowns” where you suddenly make all kinds of changes to identity, goals, plans, and relationships. Nonetheless, you should focus on balance and consistency in your life so that the good things you have aren’t overshadowed by daily “stuff” that most responsible adults have to deal with.
FINANCIAL PLANNING:
Job satisfaction has weighed heavily on your mind during middle age, as has financial planning for the latter half of your lifetime.
Given your financial planning behaviors up until now and your expectations for later years, you believe that you will likely be able to prepare for and initiate retirement plans in the next ten years. Of course, your expectations may not match reality; this will only be possible if you focus on saving for retirement and live frugally.
You made some wise decisions to save money and to think beyond the “now” when you do spend it. Let’s see where life takes you as you age.
Well, at this time point, you have reached the end of My Virtual Life! You made some tough decisions along the way, had some surprises and memorable moments, and successfully made it here to the end of age 80. Based on your set of experiences and choices, particularly in late adulthood, here is how life ended up for you cognitively, socially, and physically:
EDUCATION AND CAREER
During the last stage of adulthood, you gave a lot of thought to your identity. Like your peers, you pondered whether what you did for a career essentially defines you or if your sense of self is more broadly defined by other enduring qualities, experiences, and relationships. You and your family members and friends continued to challenge your minds, develop hobbies, and find ways to pass the time in engaging activities.
FINANCIAL PLANNING
By talking to others about personal expenses, assessing retirement plans and savings, and thinking about the future, you and your significant other have been able to live fairly comfortably. You have also considered some practical aspects of aging, such as insurance coverage and Do Not Resuscitate orders. You and your siblings stay in regular contact and enjoy each others’ company as often as you can.
HEALTH AND WELL BEING
And speaking about aging, during your older years, you saw signs of aging in your body and mind. Perhaps as a way of putting this latter portion of your identity into context, you found yourself often reviewing your life and your personal development (in terms of can-do’s and can’t-do’s) in conversations with friends and family. You revisited the past and shared your life lessons with the people around you this way. Some say that nostalgia and reminiscence can lead to healthy coping. In years past, however, you saw how rumination about past mistakes was a contributor to poor mental health – particularly in the life of Jack, your brother. This led you at several points in your days to consider whether having a life review was healthy for you or if it was a good idea to stop rehashing the past.
Nonetheless, you transitioned into elderly adulthood regardless of some moments when you were not in good times. You know that a positive attitude helps to carry people through life’s hard times, but you wonder if this will help you through future health issues that could limit your mobility and independence. With the help of good support persons you can be more intentional in health practices and look for ways to maintain a quality of life that you can control as best as you can.
Now, last but not least, let’s examine the role that significant relationships held in the life you lived. Please press Next.
LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS:
Your family and friends contributed much to your coping with aging and navigating through some important decisions you faced not only early in life, but in your stages as an elder adult in particular. You spent a considerable amount of time with your siblings and friends more so at the beginning and end stages of adulthood. You discussed the meaningful moments of your lives, made sense of the negative events, and reveled in the joyous ones.
You have stayed close in your marriage over time, and this is a remarkable thing. You experienced a scare when your spouse was diagnosed with lung cancer, though all is well now – remission set in after successful treatment! You remained very close with your longtime friends Alex and Sarah, too, who each played significant and unique roles throughout your years of growing up and getting older.
Your life had ultimate fulfillment through parenting; Hannah and Will grew up, moved out, and at other times came back to live near to you (if not WITH you, in Will’s case). You gave much of yourself to their lives, and they gave of theirs, to yours. Even with some stress and struggles you always appreciated their participation and company in your own life journey. They shaped who you have become. In fact, as all of us develop through times of stability and change, the relationships present in our lives have a meaningful impact on us in amazing and myriad ways.
Part 2:
Let’s pause for a moment to review how things are going in your life!
EDUCATION AND CAREER:
You had a rocky start in the working world and had a bad first interview experience, but you eventually landed a job to simply earn some money while looking for a career position that suited your interests. Five years after college you finally found that entry-level spot in a career track that interests you and started to work your way up the ladder of responsibility.
You’ve been working in the social sciences, and you’ve even been promoted, which makes you feel good knowing your skills are noticed by your supervisors. What’s more, along the way you earned a Master’s degree so your specialties in the field continue to advance.
Like most people your age, this is a busy time in your personal development!
LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS:
At about the same time that you had been searching for (and FINDING!) meaningful employment in your field, you made significant progress in your personal life.
You started a meaningful relationship with someone whom you first met in college, and things developed nicely.
You developed a deeply committed relationship and have gotten married!
Besides your personal relationship, you have close connections with two highly valued friends of yours, Alex and Sarah, and perhaps best of all, you have a family with two very important children, Hannah and Will!
HEALTH AND WELL BEING:
With your new job and social relationship situations, you have had a flurry of emotional experiences. In this time frame you experienced several life events that taxed you emotionally, in good and bad ways (hey, stress is stress!).
At times you had to work at gaining control over your feelings, but with intentional effort, you got your act together and live a pretty healthy life, both physically and psychologically.
Through your late 20s and 30s you experienced both weight gain and weight loss, but generally speaking you are still managing a healthy body and positive sense of well being as you explore the ins and outs of your adult identity.
FINANCIAL PLANNING:
During this time period most young adults become somewhat aware that they should start saving for later; like peers your age this is a good point in your own life to initiate decisions about beginning such planning (otherwise you might not have the funds you need later in life).
As for you in this time period, you embarked on your career and centered your sights on performing well. Now that you have an income you should probably start giving more regular thought to your future financial status beyond on your current lifestyle. Now’s the time to consider what might be coming down the line and position yourself to have good financial health in your later years.
